Lucie’s comments about her shoot:
Well, I’m 18 years young, straight from the rez. I’m from California but can’t swim and very recently learned how to ride a bike. I don’t have much family but the ones I do have are my life. My sister is my best friend, even if I cant tell her everything. She’s going to have a baby soon, I’m uber excited. Although she already has two girls and two step sons, they still wanted to try for another little boy. But life is weird in ways and now little Rubii will be joining the family. Hehe I came up with her name. Rubii with two I’s because fuck you. No, I’d really do anything for them. I help support them by doing this, even if they don’t know where the money is coming from it still is a blessing.
We’re in the process of moving out of our five bedroom house because the baby needs more room and me and their oldest son are moving out. He’s going to live with his grandma to finish highschool and I am moving in with my cousin. It’s gonna be a lot less stress on me and my wallet but more importantly I need to get myself help and find what I want in life. I intend on going back to college and finishing my degree in mortuary science or joining an apprenticeship in Vegas. That would take more time but I wouldn’t have to move to Cypress again for it, and last time that was a disaster. Moved out there only to get screwed over by my broke ass roommate and have a tiny meltdown. So back to Vegas it was and honestly I don’t know if I made the right decision, but here I am.
I second guess myself a lot too but follow through with most of my original ideas just because my teacher Mrs. Haze used to tell me never to let others aulter my perception. I don’t have major confidence in myself but one must have confidence to a certain degree if one wishes to be sucessful in a world such as todays. Like for example I’m Native Indigenous. I may have had a white or mixed father but I ain’t no KKK. I AIM for higher places. I wish for a better world for my people. I mean, if it wasnt for my reservation and my fellow tribal members I don’t know what would have happened to me by now. I’d probably be dead or in prison. We’re a really tight-nit community, yes there’s a tiny bit of insest but where isn’t there? haha I’m joking but no seriously, only second cousins. My culture and mytribe is who I am. They are apart of me like my leg or my kidney. They are my family, my only real home. and Nothing can ever change that. Being an Indian of the modern world is a little scary and really difficult. Even my favorite auther as a child thinks of us as fairies. I felt like I wasn’t ever going to do anything with my life as a child because the rez was my life. It used to be such an unhappy place for me but right now I think I want to be there more than anything.